5 years ago, I said “I do” to the man I know God chose for me. Before God and about 200 friends and family members, we committed to love each other and stick by each other for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, till death (others would say DEBT! hehe) do us part.
It’s been 5 years of lots of ups and downs, trials and triumphs, joys and pains. We were blessed with a honeymoon baby and 3 years after, with a baby conceived on mission! The first 5 years of our life together (engaged to married couple) were spent on mission, as our humble offering to God for all His goodness.
Of course, our married life has not been a bed of roses all the way. Just as with anything else in our lives, there have been some thorns (well, to be honest, LOTS of them! LOL!). But it is safe to say that we at least know how to have a happy married life (now all we need to do is implement and live out all we’ve learned! hehe). Here are some tips for married couples, engaged couples, couples who are considering marriage, and singles who wish they were couples but haven’t been able to find THE one yet:
1. Love triangles are the BEST. But only if God is at the center of the triangle. Hubby and I learned this through our community and saw this in action in our parents’ lives. With God, any couple can stand united through all unimaginable things. PUT GOD AT THE CENTER OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. He should be your no. 1 and NOT your spouse.
2. Quality time is important. Quality time does not necessarily mean QUANTITY time. When hubby and I got married, we thought that we’d have at least one year to relish our newly married life, especially since my ob-gyne said it may be hard for me to conceive since I have a polycystic ovary. But lo and behold, God’s plans and ways are different – we got married January 7, Timothy was born October 10!
Married life after having a baby is so much more different. A lot of times, I was guilty of putting the kids’ needs over hubby’s, giving only my “left-over” time to him. I realize now that that should not be the case. HUSBANDS AND WIVES SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE QUALITY TIME TOGETHER EVERY DAY. It could be a quick chat over breakfast, or a late night gab session while nursing the baby. You could watch your favorite DVDs while the kids are asleep, or pray together before you both leave the house for work. What is important is we MAKE TIME.
3. The power of touch can do wonders. In Gary Chapman’s , the various ways and means of communicating love are explained. I for one, being a licensed physical therapist, believe in the healing, affirming, soothing and relaxing power of touch. I highly recommend touching your spouse every day, in little ways. Hugs, kisses, pats on the shoulder, brief back rubs, holding hands, even simple “high fives” – all of these help show how much we love and care for the other. TOUCH YOUR SPOUSE TODAY IN THE MOST LOVING WAY YOU KNOW HOW. And do it every day henceforth. You’ll see a difference in how you communicate and relate to each other.
4. It ain’t over till it’s over. Here, I am referring to the “discovery” and “getting to know you” stage. This doesn’t stop once you’re already married – in fact, it should continue until “it’s over” i.e. your marriage has ended naturally meaning one of you has already passed on. GET TO KNOW YOUR SPOUSE EVERY DAY. Ask him questions, pick each other’s brains out, get to know her current favorites, discover each other’s new favorite hangouts or hobbies. It ain’t over till it’s over. 🙂
5. Forgive and forget. Let go and let God. There will never be a lack of misunderstandings, tension, conflicts or disagreements in our married life. After all, as one author puts it . God made men and women different for a purpose. The challenge for married couples is to understand these differences, forgive each other’s faults, forget each other’s failures, and let God take control.
I am by no means an expert on love and marriage. But being in Couples for Christ has helped my husband and I a lot in our married life (and even in our lives as young adults and single working people). In fact, these past 5 years of marriage have been greatly enriched and blessed by the Lord through CFC. Thank You God for Your grace! Now we only have to apply all we’ve learned every day.
How about YOU? Do you have tips that you’d like to share? Pls. feel free to comment below. Praying for you!
Another interesting blog that I found from Google. I appreciate the way this is written.
Catch a Cheating Spouse
Hi Adelaine! 🙂 Thanks for dropping by! 🙂 And the kind words too! 🙂 Be blessed!