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There’s No Such Thing as an Unplanned Pregnancy

May 19, 2018 by Tina

Image from pixabay.com

This is a really long post, but I hope you’ll read it to the end… not for my sake, but for God’s greater glory. This is especially for my fellow moms who may be having doubts or fears about their current pregnancies, or are even afraid of getting pregnant again. But even if you’re NOT a mom, I hope you’ll read this.

“Do you have any reason to suspect that you’re pregnant?”

These words from the doctor whom I had gone to see because I had been feeling sick for a few days did not seem like any cause for surprise or “alarm.”

“No po,” I laughed.

“Well, your last period was on December 1. Why not?”

“Oh, I have had irregular periods / long cycles ever since po,” I replied.

“Well, you still need to be sure, because you can’t have an x-ray done if you’re pregnant,” the doctor said.

She had asked me to undergo a series of tests because she could not see why I was feeling ill, even after examining me thoroughly. I had been feeling out of breath, even while just lying down, and suffered on and off headaches.

So I obediently went to get a home pregnancy kit (I got two actually!), called my husband to tell him what the doctor had said, and said a prayer of surrender to the Lord. 😉

I used the pregnancy kits the next morning, and both showed up negative! To be perfectly honest with you, I didn’t know what I was feeling. It was a jumble of emotions really. And I’ve learned from my “mommy mentors” (who are totally pro-life, by the way!), that it’s totally OK to have mixed feelings about another pregnancy.

So anyway, later in the day, I happened to glance at the pregnancy kits again and, lo and behold, there were two lines on each of them instead of the original single lines that were there in the morning!

You can imagine my surprise (more like shock actually!) at that time. It was more like this:

Ha, ha! #KeepingItReal here, folks! 🙂

So I turned to Google to see what that could possibly mean, and the results suggested one of the following:

  • The pregnancy tests showed false positive results.
  • The pregnancy tests showed false negative results.

And the best thing to do was to go for lab tests to confirm whether there was a pregnancy or not. Since I was scheduled to go back to the clinic that weekend anyway, my husband and I decided to have a urine test done along with my other scheduled tests.

By the weekend, I was already feeling sicker than before. I had a really swollen throat, and my whole body was aching. I had a urine sample done to rule out a UTI (as previously ordered by my doctor), plus to test for pregnancy.

While waiting for the results, I consulted the doctor who said that I had really swollen tonsils, so he prescribed some antibiotics. Just before paying for his doctor’s fee, I got the urine test results and the pregnancy was CONFIRMED!

To be brutally honest, a small part of me was still hoping that the results were negative. But part of me also felt peaceful when we got the positive results. I felt that the Lord had been preparing me for it.

Allow me to backtrack a bit at this point and explain why.

At last year’s Kerygma Conference, God’s main message to me, especially through Chris Padgett‘s talks, was crystal clear:

“Are you truly pro-life in how you think, act, and speak? When it’s just you, or just you and your husband, do you really honor and cherish life? Are you really willing to say ‘Yes’ to me, like Mary did?”

After the Kerygma Conference, I felt convicted to share God’s message with my husband, and we both knew that we had to apply His message to our life, especially as a married couple. We even went to Confession as a symbol of turning over a “new leaf.” It was perfect timing, too, since the Advent season had already started by then.

We committed to being truly pro-life in how we think, act, and speak, especially as a married couple. And we chose to give God our “yes,” just as Mary did.

“May it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

Fast forward to the time when we found out I was pregnant. Our fourth child was about to turn two, and this was our shortest “gap” between kids to date. And yet, despite initial “fears” of what was to come (and this included possible negative remarks from other people, including family members, about this pregnancy being “unplanned,” “too early,” etc.), I was at peace. I knew that the peace I felt could only come from God.

I believe that it was no coincidence either that the week we found out about my pregnancy was March for Life week in the U.S. Naturally, many of the posts I saw in my social media feeds were all pro-life! Below is one of my favorites (from @itssarahhall on Instagram) —it really popped out at me and I felt as if it was part of God’s message to us.

I also happened to read an article on CatholicMom.com soon afterwards, about The Gospel of Life.

“The Gospel of Life is born afresh every time a family welcomes a new child of God.”

Wow!

Despite these affirmations though, Anthony and I agreed not to let anyone else know about the pregnancy first… we wanted to go for a check-up with my OB first. Before doing so, I told him, “If she says that Baby’s estimated date of delivery (EDD) is September 8, this must really be Mama Mary’s doing!”

Well, guess what she said!

The EDD based on my last menstrual period is September 8, the birthday of Mama Mary!

I know, right? Amazing!

And when we traced the time at which Baby was conceived, it was around the time when we had just finished our journey.

AND… it was around the time when we had just celebrated the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe!

A post shared by on Dec 11, 2017 at 8:32pm PST

Our Lady of Guadalupe, who is well-known as the patroness of the unborn! (And apparently, the patroness of “the nitty-gritty, dirty and thankless, sleep deprived, unacknowledged, invisible, and grace-filled aspects of motherhood,” according to this lovely article.)

It was God’s way of affirming us that this pregnancy—which others might think was “unplanned”—is actually part of His amazing plan for us, through the powerful intercession of Mother Mary.

Actually, call me naive, but I believe all the more now that every pregnancy, even the ones considered “unplanned” by society especially because the mother is not ready, etc., is a part of God’s big plan.

Every baby that is conceived in a woman’s womb is a thought in God’s mind. A thought turned into reality.

The problem is that many of us do not see this, even those among us who call ourselves “pro-life.” Many of us see additional babies as additional “burdens.” We consider having a big family “costly” and difficult, which may be true, of course, but isn’t that how the anti-life movement and culture of death gain a foothold in our society?

To emphasize my point… last month, I shared a disturbing, heartbreaking image of aborted babies on my personal Facebook wall. I was surprised to see people commenting on my post and sharing it. Now, I am glad that people were reminded about the horrors of abortion but have we ever thought about how the “seeds” or thoughts of having an abortion are planted in the minds of women?

It’s when we as a society give them the idea that they are “not ready” to have a baby (or if it’s not their first child, to have *another* baby). It’s when we hint to women that to have a/another child is “burdensome,” “mahirap,” “challenging”, and other words that, yes, may be well-meaning but can cause a woman to doubt even for one second that the baby growing in her womb is a gift and a blessing and a miracle.

When we first found out I was pregnant again, I really did have a mixture of emotions. You know why? One of the reasons was that I feared that there would be people who would also give us “well-meaning” comments.

I know we shouldn’t care about what others say when we know deep down inside that this baby—and all our babies—are blessings from the Lord. In fact, this is actually how I feel now:

BUT I must admit that it still hurt a bit when those “well-meaning” comments came (and still come, actually). Sometimes in the form of a concerned statement. Sometimes in the form of a joke.

“Tama na ‘yan, ha?”

“What? Buntis ka ulit?”

“Ano baaaa?!!”

“Last na ‘yan, ha?”

“You know, there’s an app you can use to make sure you don’t get pregnant.”

“Bakit so soon? Ang liit pa ng youngest niyo!”

And so on. Someone even told me that maybe we should try different forms of artificial birth control. I replied politely but deep inside I was like:

Now, I know that the people who make statements like these are mostly concerned for our growing family. And I am not belittling their concern in any way.

BUT. Again. These statements and others like them can cause women to think twice about the blessing of motherhood. They can cause women who may not be surrounded by supportive family and friends to think, “Ay oo nga. This is too hard. I won’t be able to do this,” and maybe even consider an abortion.

If we are going to call ourselves truly “pro-life,” then we should start being so not just in our actions, which people can see, but in our thoughts and words, too. This is actually why I’m writing this post. I have been meaning to for months but only got around to doing it now.

I must admit that, for a long time, Anthony and I were not 100% pro-life in private, when it was just the two of us, in our words and actions. And we believe that God gave us this baby—through Our Lady of Guadalupe’s intercession—as an affirmation of our choosing to be truly pro-life in ALL aspects. I just hope and pray that more and more people will learn to see the gift of life for what it truly is… that it is a MIRACLE.

Speaking of miracles, here is another story of God’s grace and Our Lady of Guadalupe’s intercession.

You see, just a few days before this post, my OB told me that I could resume normal activity, after more than two months of being on bedrest!

It all started with a small subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH) detected at my first ultrasound, which apparently grew significantly in volume, and I ended up bleeding externally. My husband had to rush me to the hospital, and I was put on bedrest and had to take medication to ensure that we would not lose the baby.

A post shared by on Mar 1, 2018 at 4:21pm PST

This has been my most challenging pregnancy so far. I had to have so many tests done, so many ultrasounds, so much medication to take… and it really cost us a lot of money too!

But by God’s grace and Our Lady of Guadalupe’s intercession, plus the prayers of so many people and the amazing support of our family members and friends, we are surviving… and are taking it one day, one prayer at a time.

A post shared by on May 16, 2018 at 8:14pm PDT

And I guess this is the main message of this post:

If you’re facing challenges right now…

If you’re doubting God’s plan for you…

If you’re at your lowest point and desperate for hope…

If you’re struggling with your faith…

If you’re about to give up…

Remember these words of the Angel Gabriel to Mary at the Annunciation:

Nothing will be impossible for God. (Luke 1:37)

And this goes out especially to the mom who may be facing a difficult pregnancy, or may not feel “ready” to be pregnant. You are not alone. God’s got this!

Rodriguez Family

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you… plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope. When you call me, and come and pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart…” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Filed Under: FAMILY MATTERS, Motherhood, Our Faith, Our Relationships, Our Self, PARENTING, REFLECTIONS AND DEVOTIONS, SPECIALLY FOR MOMS, TRUE CONFESSIONS Tagged With: Big Families, Catholic reflections, Parenting Reflections, Pro-Life, unplanned pregnancy

When Christmas Doesn’t Feel Like Christmas

December 27, 2017 by Tina

It’s 3.20 a.m. here in Manila, and it’s the Third Day of Christmas. I woke up earlier because I felt like I was going to throw up (yes, I felt the urge while I was sleeping; no, I didn’t throw up and no, I’m not pregnant! #justsaying). I couldn’t get back to sleep so I prayed the Divine Mercy Prayer, which is usually prayed at 3 p.m. I wonder what the Holy Family was doing at this time, 2017 years ago. What Mama Mary must have been feeling. Did she have the “Christmas feels” as we like to call our feelings during this time of the year? Feelings of joy, comfort, peace, hope? Or did she have mixed feelings and emotions?

christmas

Reflecting on all this, and knowing that I “should” have the “Christmas feels” but the truth is Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas too much right now, I take comfort in the “imperfect,” “not Pinterest-worthy” Instagram posts of fellow Catholic moms like , , and .

I know how challenging these busy but beautiful holy-days can be… so I’m sharing this photo of the altar in our bedroom as a “sign” of camaraderie and unity – yes, we still haven’t changed our altar cloth (purple is for Advent – maybe we’ll just keep it on till Lent?! Ha, ha!) and the only reason our nativity set pieces are where they’re supposed to be is because the 8-year-old placed them there.

christmas christmas

As I write this, there is a huge pile of clothes in our living/dining area that need to be packed for an upcoming trip to visit extended family. There are more clothes in laundry baskets and drying on clotheslines to be folded, and more to be washed (praying the weather will cooperate so the laundry will dry faster!).

My husband and I’s hopes of doing some much-needed decluttering and deep cleaning during the holidays won’t be happening because of the previously mentioned trip. Which means the New Year will come and the apartment will still be in the (sorry) state it’s in now.

There is work to be done. (No vacation leave for work-at-home-and-everywhere-else moms like me! Ha, ha!) This blog is in a state of neglect. There are homeschooling-related tasks that need to be done as well. Etcetera, etcetera.

Well, you can probably see what I’m getting at now. I could go on and on “whining” but I won’t. Because, despite everything, there is SO much to be grateful for.

There are thousands, even millions, of people here in the Philippines and around the world who would probably trade places with me in an instant. Typhoon victims. Fire victims. Victims of armed conflict. So many people who are suffering, so many people in pain, so many who have lost their lives even.

Closer to home, I have friends and family members whose Christmases will never be the same because they have lost loved ones or have loved ones who are seriously ill.

All of these make my complaints seem so shallow now. So selfish. I have so much to be thankful for. Many days though, I fail to see them. I am too tired. Too preoccupied. Too focused on the “have nots” and “shoulds” and endless “to-do’s.”

So, yet again, I choose. I choose to be grateful.

Thank You, Jesus, for being the Gift you are to me, to my family, to all of us.

Thank You for the blessings *and* the burdens of this life — reminders that this world is not our Home.

Thank You for being born so that You could die and rise again… just for us.

Thank You for always being there for us… even when Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas at times.

I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again:

Happy Birthday, Jesus! We love You!

chrismtas

How’s the Christmas season going for you so far, friend? Whatever you’re feeling now, I pray that God gives you the comfort, joy, peace, and hope that you need! God bless you!

Filed Under: LITURGICAL LIVING, Our Faith, REFLECTIONS AND DEVOTIONS, TRUE CONFESSIONS Tagged With: 12 Days of Christmas, Christmas, Keep Christ in Christmas

When God Has A Better Plan For You

April 5, 2017 by Tina

god has a better plan

A little over a year ago, I wrote one of the most honest, heartfelt and emotional posts that I have ever written here on Truly Rich and Blessed, entitled When God Doesn’t Answer Your Prayers. I cannot believe how quickly time has passed since I wrote that post. I am so amazed by the Lord’s ways and miracles, and how He has brought me and my family to where we are now.

You see, even before our youngest was born, when I was still pregnant with him, there was a time when I really, really questioned God’s ways. I actually wanted to write about it much, much earlier than now but I would always back out. I am not sure why this was so.

However, after reading this very honest article by Rebecca Frech, and how she — at one point in her life  — had an “unwanted pregnancy,” and when she first found out, she  “wanted nothing more in that moment than to be unpregnant,” I felt as if God was nudging me to write this.

So, here I am baring my soul again. #KeepingItReal as I like to say on and .

Here is the truth: When I first found out I was pregnant with our fourth baby, I had mixed emotions. The majority of which were negative. I cried. I was in semi-shock. So was my husband.

In fact, we took two home pregnancy tests (or was it three?!) just to be sure. And waited until our first check-up (when the OB-Gyne confirmed the pregnancy via an ultrasound) before we told other people about it.

Why the mixed, mostly nega emotions? The tears? The semi-shock, etc.?

Well, we had already made so many “grand plans” for the future. This included booking and paying for Cebu Pacific tickets for our whole family (my husband, our three kids and me) so we could spend part of our Christmas and New Year with my sister and her family in Brunei. We were supposed to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary and renew our vows there, too.

But when we found out I was pregnant, and counted forward to when my estimated delivery date would be, we knew that all our plans would not push through. I was to give birth in January 2016. Our tickets were booked for the last week of December 2015.

So you can imagine how sad I was. I struggled to not feel that way though. I even felt guilty about feeling sad. Which made me feel even worse.

Which is why I thank the Good Lord for the dear “mommy mentors” I have — women in whom I confided when I first found out about my pregnancy. They “heard” me out (well, more like read me out, since we conversed via chat), prayed for and with me and our family, shared their own experiences, gave tips, sent virtual hugs (and chocolate! 😉 ). The older, more “experienced” ones even told me that it is perfectly normal to “grieve” for a time; to tell God that, “Lord, puwede ba akong magtampo muna?” and then move on, choosing to accept His will with peace and joy.

And that is what I did. I allowed myself to “mourn.” I allowed myself to feel sad about not being able to go to Brunei anymore. About our plane tickets going to waste. About our plans getting “destroyed.”

After that, I started choosing joy. Gratitude. Surrendering to God’s plans. Because I believe that is part of what being “Truly Rich and Blessed” is all about. And I quote:

Drawing inspiration from Matthew 6:25-33, we hope to help you lead a richer and fuller life in all aspects, while “keeping it real” at all times. Life is never perfect, but we can find blessings all around if we actively seek them!

Long story short — I went through my pregnancy with joyful anticipation, knowing that God held our future in His hands. I chose to believe that “God has a better plan.”

But then, as I previously mentioned, when our baby was born, I felt as if God did not answer our prayers again. He got sick and took a while to recover fully from his health issues. But recover he did, and God even used his situation — our situation — to bless other babies via #TeamTitus 🙂

A post shared by on Oct 1, 2016 at 4:47pm PDT

A post shared by on Jan 21, 2017 at 1:26am PST

Fast forward to today.

Our family is slowly getting back to our usual routine after spending two weeks in Brunei, courtesy of God’s angels on earth (i.e. my parents, who treated us to Cebu Pacific tickets at very affordable, promo prices)!

A post shared by on Mar 17, 2017 at 9:09pm PDT

Do you see what God did there?

He showed us how His plans are way better than our plans.

He “delayed” our trip to Brunei so we could go there at His appointed time, with His chosen people, i.e.  not just me, my husband and our three kids, but also my parents AND our new baby — the baby He gave to us. The baby He chose to give us at His appointed time, according to His perfect plan.

Why am I sharing this here?

Over the past year, I have had friends who have had what could be considered “unplanned” pregnancies, too. A few had/have mixed reactions, too, and I want to tell them (and maybe you who are reading this now and need to know this too):

It’s OK if you are not feeling what you think you are “supposed” to be feeling.

It’s OK to feel sad. To grieve. To throw an “adult tantrum.”

Feel all your feelings.

Then move on. In faith. Because God has a better plan for you.

This message is not just for my fellow moms out there — it’s also for every person who is dealing with disappointment. For every person who is questioning God’s ways. For every person who is doubting God’s plan.

Rest in His promise in Jeremiah 29:11-13.

Declare the truth of Romans 8: 28.

Take comfort in Isaiah 55:8-12.

God is not finished with you yet. He is purifying you, preparing you for something better, bigger and brighter.

While He is doing this, please be encouraged by the knowledge that you are not alone. You are in my/our prayers. God bless you today and always!

Did this post bless you somehow? Please feel free to share it with others if it did! Or leave a comment — I would love to connect with you in that way. Thanks for reading!

Filed Under: FAMILY MATTERS, Our Faith, Our Relationships, REFLECTIONS AND DEVOTIONS, SPECIALLY FOR MOMS, TRUE CONFESSIONS Tagged With: God has a better plan, God's faithfulness, God's ways are better, Reflections

With God, All Things Are Possible

October 19, 2016 by Tina

With God all things are possible

Source: Pixabay.com

It’s been a while since I’ve “been here.” Preparations for the Philippine Homeschool Conference 2016, plus my usual responsibilities as a wife and mother, writer and editor, etc. have kept me busy. Too busy, at times, to the point where I felt there were so many “impossibles” in my day to day.

I found myself drawing near to God more and more during those times. I sought His Word. I craved for His encouragement.

And He spoke clearly to me through — ironically — a video that I was privileged to be part of, for . I did not expect to watch that video that day, but I thank God He led me to it.

I’m sharing it here now, with YOU, because you might be dealing with different “impossibles” today. Draw near to Him, friend.

Be inspired, too, by His message through the story of Mama Mary, Our Lady of the Rosary, to which the month of October is dedicated.

With God all things are possible

Source: Wikimedia Commons

Announcement of the Birth of Jesus. (Luke 1:26-38)

In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary. And coming to her, he said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.” But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.

Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High,* and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?”

And the angel said to her in reply, “The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God. And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived* a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God.

Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

May we declare what seems to be impossible “HIMpossible” because with God by our side — He who is the ultimate reason why we can call ourselves “truly rich and blessed” — we can do all things!

Did this post inspire you in any way? Please feel free to share it with others! God bless you!

Filed Under: Our Faith, REFLECTIONS AND DEVOTIONS, TRUE CONFESSIONS Tagged With: Catholic, inspiration, Preacher In Blue Jeans

I Surrender.

July 11, 2016 by Tina

all to jesus i surrender

The past few weeks — err, months actually (!) have been super hectic, and I have found myself distraught at times over the “juggling act” that I have been doing lately. I’d forgotten how erratic routines and schedules can be with a baby at home, and to be completely honest with y’all, it’s been tough.

Add to that the need to care for a husband and three other kids, get work done, manage the household, homeschool (yes, we still homeschool the kids!), media ministry-related tasks, etcetera etcetera… you see where I’m headed, right? (Don’t even get me started on blogging tasks and responsibilities, folks! Plus blog backend/technical issues!)

So yes, I may seem like a broken record here sometimes but there are really moments when my doubts, fears, failures (and fear of failure), worries tend to get the better of me. Does this happen to you too?

Do you worry about your family?

Do you worry about your finances?

Do you worry that you don’t have enough faith? (See the irony in that?)

Do you worry, worry, worry?

Well, join me in saying, “Enough.”

Together, let’s declare this to Him — He who is far bigger than our worries, problems, doubts, fears:

“I surrender.”

And if you know this oldie but goodie, sing along with me, won’t you?

(Below are the complete lyrics of the song, in case you want to sing the full version 😉 ):

All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

Refrain:
I surrender all,
I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow;
Worldly pleasures all forsaken,
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power,
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Now I feel the sacred flame;
Oh, the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!

Are you facing trials and challenges right now? Let’s surrender everything to Him! And if you know someone who might need to read this post, please feel free to share it with him or her. God bless you! 🙂

Filed Under: Our Faith, Our Self, REFLECTIONS AND DEVOTIONS, SELF LOVE ISN'T SELFISH, TRUE CONFESSIONS Tagged With: All to Jesus I surrender, faith, Reflections

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Hi! I'm Tina Santiago Rodriguez, a Catholic wife, homeschool mom, and self-professed "media missionary." Welcome to Truly Rich and Blessed, a unique lifestyle blog about appreciating the "riches" that we have — our faith, self, relationships, resources, discoveries and experiences. I hope you'll enjoy your time here, and come away encouraged and inspired somehow!

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