When God Doesn’t Answer Your Prayers

I gave birth to our fourth child last January… our fourth blessing from the Lord. In most ways, it was the birth I, along with the rest of my family, had been praying for: unmedicated, “normal,” and as “gentle” as could be, considering it was in a hospital set-up.

I had an amazing birth team made up of my husband, my OB-Gyne, my doula, and the resident doctors and nurses of St. Luke’s Medical Center Quezon City who were present in the Labor and Delivery area at the time.

Of course, I also had Jesus and Mama Mary on my side, and all our family members and friends, too, who kept us company through their prayers. (Thank you, everyone!)

It was a beautiful birth, and — ironically — the only birth out of all four of our kids’ births where I felt most at ease, or most “in control,” you could say.

But this post isn’t just about our son’s birth. It’s not a “birth story” post. (I hope to get to write that soon though.)

You see, besides a safe, gentle and “normal” birth, our family had also been praying for the good health of our baby, including no blood type incompatibility between me and our newborn. Since all of our three older kids had some sort of health issue as newborns, we had been hoping that, this time around, things would be “normal,” i.e. we could come home right away from the hospital, and would not have to spend a long time there. We had been praying for “normal” newborn days, where we would have the same “normal” concerns as most other families with newborns have.

But God had other plans.

To make a long story short, God didn’t answer our prayers. At least not the way we wanted Him to.

I don’t have the time nor energy to go into detail but suffice it to say that our baby did have BO incompatibility, and another condition — bilateral undescended testicles with inguinal hernia (which our eldest also wrote about in a short and sweet post here). We stayed in the hospital for one week. The doctors at the hospital initially wanted our newborn to undergo surgery for the second condition but we chose to seek different opinions and delay surgery.

Now, let me clarify that neither BO incompatibility and the other condition are life-threatening conditions, and we continue to thank the Lord for His faithful love and kindness. The BO incompatibility did result in baby developing anemia though, but still, nothing severely serious.

Currently, our baby — who is named after two great saints: Alexander and Titus — is also underweight (almost severely underweight) for his age. He lost a lot of weight in the weeks that followed our hospital stay, and we are currently focused on helping him gain more weight.

We went through a similar journey before with our third child, but this time around, we can’t pinpoint the exact reason why Baby Titus lost weight, though it could most likely be due to his poor feeding patterns (maybe caused by his anemia) during the first few weeks of life. (Incidentally, this is something I personally prayed for, too — that Titus and I would have no problems with breastfeeding. Oh well… God really has His own plans for us, doesn’t He?)

So what is the point of this post, dear friends? I guess I just want to share some of my reflections based on what has been happening to me and our family, namely:

When God doesn’t answer your prayers…

…it doesn’t mean He can’t hear you…

When God doesn’t answer your prayers…

…it doesn’t mean He doesn’t care about you…

When God doesn’t answer your prayers…

…trust that He knows what’s best (though this is easier said than done, believe me!)…

When God doesn’t answer your prayers…

…don’t feel bad about feeling bad (this, too, shall pass)…

When God doesn’t answer your prayers…

…seek the support and prayers of others…

When God doesn’t answer your prayers…

…believe in His Word and in His promises…

God has been teaching me and my family so much these past weeks.

He has allowed us to see — yet again — how much He loves us through the people around us, the people who pray for and with us, the people who help us physically and even financially and materially.

He has made us realize again how truly rich and blessed we are, and has taught us to be grateful for the little things in life.

There are so many other babies and children who are in greater need of healing (and prayers for healing) compared to Titus — like and Inigo of .

There are millions of babies and children whose families can’t even afford the basics — food, shelter, clothing — what more good medical care.

So God has also been using this trial to teach me — yet again — to look beyond myself and my family. To extend help to others in whatever way we can. To live out mercy, not just for this Jubilee Year, but every.single.day.

Indeed, when God doesn’t answer your prayers, there is still so much to thank Him for. He is and always will be good; His love will always endure; His blessings will always come.

How do you “deal” when God doesn’t answer your prayers? Care to share in the comments? Or maybe you know someone who might draw encouragement from this post… Please feel free to share it with them!